To Whomever May Relate
Errors in communication have been the source of many a problem for centuries. At times they have caused down-right disasters. But in the Bird household they are often just a source of irritation, inconvenience, and sometimes laughter. And they often produce stories that are passed down from generation to generation.
The following conversations show just a small sample of the result of mis-communication. All of the incidents are true, but names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
MOM – (all set for a cold drink on a hot day and now agitated)”Who took the last ice cubes and didn’t replenish them?”
SALLY (teen age daughter, seemingly oblivious to Mom’s agitation) – “I did.”
MOM – ( more agitated) Why didn’t you put the ice cube trays back in the freezer to make more?
SALLY – (seriously trying to defend herself) “Because they were empty and you told us not to put them back in the freezer empty.”
Out of the mouths of Babes
After a discussion where my husband and I were complaining about paying taxes our daughter, a kindergartner at the time, asked what happens if you don’t pay the taxes? We responded, they will take away our house.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER – “Does anyone have any prayer requests today?”
NANCY – “I do, if we don’t pay our taxes they are going to take our house away from us.”
After the service: We were approached by the Pastor.
PASTOR – (Very concerned)”We would like to offer some assistance to help you financially.”
ME – (very confused) “Well things have been tight but we are ok, really.”
PASTOR – (Very convinced) “I know it is hard to accept help but your daughter shared the concern that you can’t pay your taxes and may lose your home with her Sunday School teacher.”
I tried to explain but I’m not sure I ever really convinced him it was a mistake?
He Said, She Heard – She Said, He Heard
ME – (to spouse) “I need your help getting the garage cleaned today, winter is coming and we need to be able to out the car in.”
SPOUSE – “We can do that tomorrow.”
ME – “If we don’t do it today it won’t get done.”
SPOUSE – “Remind me tomorrow.”
ME – “Don’t forget we are cleaning the garage today.”
SPOUSE – “I know, you don’t have to keep reminding me.”
BEST OF ALL! Telling on myself.
SPOUSE – (out of town/on the phone) “Don’t forget to check the oil in the car.”
ME – “I don’t know how to check the oil in the car!”
SPOUSE – “You just pull the dip stick out, wipe it off, put it back in and then pull it back out and look to see how many marks the oil is below the full line. Then put that many quarts in using the spout that is by the oil.”
ME – “What is a dip stick?”
SPOUSE – Hesitates, then explains where it is and what it looks like.
ME – (later in the day on the phone to spouse) “Something is really wrong with the car.”
SPOUSE- “Why? Did you put the oil in?”
ME – “Yes, but it wasn’t as easy as you said. The spout you told me to use was way to big and some of the oil spilled. It wouldn’t hold the quart of oil the stick said it needed. And when I started it to go to the store it started smoking under the hood terrible. Something must be wrong with it.”
SPOUSE – “Have Joe (our mechanic) look at it.”
JOE – “There is oil all over the motor.”
ME – “I know, the oil spout thing was to big for the opening where the oil goes and some spilled.”
JOE – “Which opening did you use?”
ME – “Well the one where the dip stick is. That’s where the oil is, duh!”
JOE – laughing uncontrollably
“Was it something I said??????”