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Perspective Versus Perception

CatAndMirror111 Perception

Have you ever felt like you really had nothing to offer? Everyone around you seems to be rocking their world and you can’t even rock your way into a better job or any job, a better car, or a nicer place to live.

You say to yourself, “This is just my lot in life and I just have to learn to live with it. For many, to many, years this was my perspective on life.

I would tell myself there are the haves and the have-nots and that is just the way life is. I saw myself as unimportant in the grand scheme of life. Having an average appearance with straight brown hair, light brown eyes,  painfully shy and insecure, nope, nothing exceptional about me.

Living in a dysfunctional family, in a rented house, wearing outdated clothes from Sally’s Boutique and riding in an old beat up car. I wasn’t exactly a sought after individual by my peers. Oh I made a few friends and did fair in school but there were no extra curricular activities (ECAs) other than chorus for a year in Jr high (I think it was required?). So I found my own ECA’s. with others in my own league, the-down-and-outers league. (Not a reflection on the person of my friends, just my perception of where we all were in life at the time.) One thing I did like was dancing and was told I was pretty good at it by many. I had a brief glimmer of hope that I might become a professional choreographer, but alas, I was told later in my teen years that my legs were to short to be a professional dancer. Chalk it off as another flaw!

My perception through all of these experiences was that I didn’t have anything of value to offer therefore could expect little in the way of return or success. This brought about years of just settling for less than God’s best. And also became a good excuse for not trying to do better. Yup, that’s where it takes you!

You see our perception, how we see ourselves and our abilities, has a definite effect on our perspective, the outcome that we expect. And the outcome we expect will, more than likely be the outcome we get.

If we perceive ourselves as victims, we will expect to be a victimized by others so we don’t trust.

If I perceive ourselves as  failures we don’t expect to succeed therefore we don’t try.

If we perceive there is no way out of a relationship, a financial crisis, or a struggle with self control  in some area then we expect nothing will change and we give up, we lose hope.

a different perspective

In the Bible we see a perfect example of how perspective affects perception and visa-versa. God promised Abraham that He would give his offspring the land of Canaan in Genesis 12:7, 17:1-8 and again reminded Moses and the Israelites of His promise in Exodus 3:7-8.

But when the time came to prepare to enter the promised land the twelve members of the reconnaissance team, sent out by Moses to scope out the land, came back with conflicting recommendations. Oh, they all agreed it was, for sure, a land that “flowed with milk and honey” and they even brought back a sample of the beautiful fruit that was there. But ten of the twelve quickly followed up with, “However  (a fancier word for but), the people who dwell in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large…….we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them.” God said He would give them the land but they let fear take control and keep them from claiming the promise.

Yet two of the twelve were ready to take the giants on! These two, Joshua and Caleb, saw their God as much bigger than those they saw in the land, God said that He was going to give them the land and they believed He would do just that. Most will remember the name of the two, but who remembers the name of the other ten?

The difference in the two reports was not accuracy in what all twelve saw but in their perception of how they saw it in light of their own understanding. The two believing their God could and would keep His promise trusted Him with the difficulties they might face. The ten could only see defeat, forgetting God’s promises.

The good news is that our perspective in turn can also change our perception and a changed perception and perspective can change our life, our world! When we can look at Scripture and study it we begin to see how God sees us and that is a real game changer!

We see that God sees potential in us and we begin to believe things can change.

We understand “in the world we will have trouble” but also are promised that God has overcome the world and will be with us we believe we can have courage to change.

We begin to see in, hind-site, how God has been working behind the scenes in our lives and can believe His promise that He will never leave us or forsake us and we can know He will pick us up when we fall. (Hebrews 13:5-6)

We can even believe that we “can do all things through Christ who is our strength”, so we step out in faith and try. (Philippians 4:23)

If we perceive God is good, and He is, and we believe He keeps His promises, and He does, then we can have faith and believe that He will. For we know that God can do all things; no plan of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2).

“For nothing is impossible for God.” (Luke 1:37)

Yes, we remember the rejection and pain we have experienced at the hands of others or as a result of our own choices in life, but we can believe God loves us, forgives us and promises to restores us, and He does.

Steven Furtick writes in his book: Crash the Chatterbox – Hearing God’s Voice Above All the Others: “The Enemy can’t do a thing to diminish God’s promises – that ability is decidedly beyond the limits of his power. So instead he lures you into places where your perspective of God’s promises will be diminished.”

For Adam and Eve it was near a the tree of life, the very tree God had forbidden them to eat from.  (It’s never a good idea to get that close to forbidden fruit!) Genesis 3:1-7

For the ten spies it was a land of giants. (There are giants in every land.) (Numbers 13:31-33)

For  Elijah it was seclusion in a cave. (We can’t hide from God)(1 Kings 19:1-14)

Where has he been luring you? Has the Enemy taken you places in your own head or heart that are altering your perception of who God is and who you are in Him?

Are you close to forbidden fruit, fearing the giants, or hiding from God in seclusion?

Go to the quiet place and listen for God’s voice. Read His Word and search out His promises. Read about how much He loves you and longs to help you become all He has for you to be. Tell him about your fears, insecurities, anxieties.

He is waiting for you, even pursuing you. In all these things He is able to bring you into a better place, for your good and His glory!

 

 

 

 

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Filed under character study, faith stages, forgiveness, peace, Promises, self-examination, Weary encouragement hope

“The Family Reunion”

NJeanBird011

What is the first thought that comes to mind when you receive the invitation to the annual “Family Reunion” ?

I dread it, I will tolerate it, I don’t have time for it, It’s just a bunch of old people and nutty relatives?

Or

I can’t wait, love seeing everyone and catching up, will meet new family members and fellowship with the elders, hope crazy Uncle Larry is there, he is so much fun!

After 50 years of family reunions I have observed that there is a general response that varies depending on what seasons of life we are in and the family dynamics we have grown up with.

As a kid I didn’t go to family reunions because we didn’t have them. Our family was pretty fragmented and had a degree of dysfunction that kept us from being close to family most of the time. So when I married my husband who had a very large family and experienced my first “Family Reunion” it was a bit overwhelming to say the least.

Everyone came Grama and Grampa, Aunts and Uncles, Great Aunts and Great Uncles, all of the cousins from the oldest to the youngest, there was even an aunt who brought her husband and her boyfriend! Everyone brought food of some kind and games to play. It was like a rerun of Walton’s Mountain, as a matter of fact it was on a mountain where my husband’s sister and brother-in-law lived on a farm.

These people were excited to see each other and everyone knew everyone else that was there. I recall thinking “I could probably only recall two of my Aunt’s names and maybe four of my cousin’s”.
Older relatives commenting on how the little ones had grown, younger ones smiling then running off to play, laughing and teasing one another.

The men quickly went off to visit with family members they hadn’t seen which always led to a game of horseshoes and or a discussion regarding fishing and/or hunting.
The women were left to visit, get food set up, and compare notes on kids, husbands and life in general.
My husband’s family was very kind and tried to include me in conversation and activities but, having been raised in the city in a smaller and transient family, I saw nothing that we had in common and felt like a fish out of water. They were country folk and I was a city slicker, they had farms, cows and huge gardens that supplied their families with food. I, on the other hand, depended totally on what was on special at the grocery store to fill our cupboards. I even turned my nose up at the thought of having to dig in the dirt to get my food and drinking milk straight from the cow out of a stainless steel pitcher . I was also somewhat perturbed that the women were left to watch the kids and get the food set up while the men went and played (well, truth be known, probably more than slightly perturbed). After all hadn’t these women heard of the women’s rights movement?

All very foreign to me yet it somehow held a fascination I couldn’t explain at the time.

So for several years my response was “it’s his family so we will go for my husband’s sake”. But after we had a couple of children and they couldn’t wait to go see all their family and play with their cousins my heart began to soften. I thought about what I had missed as a child by not having the same opportunity with my own family and my attitude began to change. I wanted our children to experience family in a way I never had. The realization came to me that I was a part of “this family” now.

Every year I would get to know this family better and began to see that there love for each other was genuine and that they loved me in the same way. They were actually showing me what being part of a family was really all about. The full impact of their influence on me and how I raised my family was not realized until many years later when my own children began leaving home.

As our kids grew older I began looking forward to the family reunions as I realized the importance of family and that it wasn’t just his family reunion but was our family reunion. I came to look forward to the reunions and the love we found there.

Over the years many of the older generation passed on and finally Dad and Mom Bird went home to heaven too and a strange thing happened for a few years, the “Family Reunion” sort of fell by the wayside. Then all our kids grew up and had families of their own and in-laws to consider and life was so busy that we didn’t see each other much any more. Those of us who were now the matriarchs and patriarchs of our families realized that our grandchildren were missing out on a great family tradition. And as our children grew older and their children as well we began a journey that brought us back to the family reunions.

Things are different now, change happens, and many family members are no longer with us, many have moved out of the area and can’t make it, but we are coming together again and hopefully setting a course that those who come behind us will follow and the importance of family will be passed on to future generations.

In my own extended family we have also developed a new appreciation for each other and have been working to bring our family closer together. Our families have come to be one family as well.

In this winter season of my life I am so grateful for this family that took me in, tolerated me, loved me unconditionally through the rough years and taught me the importance of caring for one another. And I am  thankful for the love that has grown out of it all in our own children for their families.

That love has been passed on to my own siblings and many foster children over the years and it all started at the Family Reunion!

If you’re looking for us the first Sunday in August we won’t be available. We will be at the farm on the hill at our “Family Reunion” where we will find family, food, fellowship, fun, some crazy people, but most of all love!

When is your family reunion?

If you have one don’t miss it!

If you don’t have one, start one!
Don’t have a family? Join us, there is enough love to go around in ours!
Because family matters!

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Filed under Children, Kindness

Trashed to Treasured

 

trash can & papersI love walking the path through the city park on an early fall day. The trees are alive with colors of bright orange, red and gold. Some leaves are stubbornly clinging to the branches against a blue sky, but some are brave enough to let go and dance with the wind over a, still green, carpet of grass.

As I walked along the path my tranquil mood was interrupted as a gust of wind formed an eddy that lifted a piece of white, rumpled, lined notebook paper from the wire basket meant to be the home for unwanted items of those passing by on the path. The bright white paper landed directly at my feet and as I bent over to retrieve this rogue piece of paper and return it to it’s rightful home the greeting at the top of the paper, “My Dear Charlie” in beautiful cursive writing, seemed to beckon me “continue reading”.

The message to Charlie seemed to be a farewell message. Not like a “Dear John” letter but one of painful defeat, frustration and retreat into solitude by someone who wanted to “disappear”, to “go where no one even knows my name.”, to “not have to get up one more morning and be looked at in disgust by you (Charlie) and be told I am a worthless. I want to go to a place where I am not made to feel unworthy to be taking up space in this world.” As I read the letter I could feel the anguish, fear and doubt. I could see the tears and hear the questioning as to whether these labels were valid. However, this letter revealed a spark of courage, a desire to be free of the verbal battering of self esteem on a daily basis.

But, the letter was unfinished, in the wire basket, not signed and never sent. It was torn from the notebook, crumpled and tossed. Did the writer ultimately buy into the lies and manipulation by one who made himself judge and jury, condemning another to  a life of defeat and feelings of being worthless, hopeless and void of any self esteem? Is there a soul wandering somewhere convinced this is the final analysis of their life, not worth keeping, to be torn, crumpled and tossed in the garbage. Or is there another letter, signed, sealed and delivered?

I long to find the author and to let them know there is value in their life. I want to tell them “Charlie is wrong!” I want to tell them how God sees value in every person. I long for them to feel loved, appreciated for who they are and valued.

I will be walking in the park again and I will enjoy the beauty of God’s creation but I will also be watching for someone with a notebook and when I find them I will encourage them to write another story. A story of hope, strength and healing. And then I will be writing another story written in my own notebook!

 

 

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View From a Room

breakfast nook mt view

Where would I go if I could go anywhere? This was a difficult question for me and it took me most of the day to decide.

I thought of all the places I had been, where my favorite places were, and which places I might want to go back to but none of these places inspired me to write about them. You see as an adult, I have tried to go back to some of those places from the past and each time I did I was disappointed because it was never the same. Oh, there were memories and some feelings of nostalgia for a short time but also some sadness when reality reminded me those days were gone and can’t be retrieved. And in some respects I am thankful for that for some of those places weren’t places I would want to go back to. I have grown up and moved forward and life changes as we move from one season to the next. I read somewhere, a few years ago, it is good to look in the rear-view mirror occasionally but better to spend the majority of your time looking at what is right in front of you.

As a child in a dysfunctional family, secondary to my father’s alcoholism, we moved many times.  I never had a permanent place I could call home or a home town. The longest we ever lived anywhere was eight years. Now I am not saying this to complain because I made many friends along the way and even remain friends with a few of them, but I say this as my explanation why I don’t have any real attachment to one place.

After I was married my husband and we did live in the same small town for 43 years. WOW – culture shock,  but we did move to eight different houses in that little town. The town was in a valley and the mountains surrounded us. This was the first place that I really felt secure. I’m not sure if it was the mountains that made me feel secure or just being in a place where I could put down roots.  It was the place we raised our children. It was a place where our children would go to the same schools from kindergarten to 12th grade. So as adults they would be able to talk with friends about “remember when we were kids” and share the stories of growing up together. The conversations that I have never been able to be part of. It was the place where I learned God loved me and where I committed my life to Him. It was a secure place, a “home town.”

The view from the room I prefer is one in the future. This room would be in a little bungalow with a breakfast nook, a picture window and a view of the mountains, I love the mountains.  Mountains make me think of God’s strength and majesty and because I’m His child, that makes me feel secure.

A bungalow where in our retirement our children and grandchildren will come and visit Papa and I. We will tell stories about our kids growing up years and read to the grandchildren from the same story books that I read from to there parents. We will have Sunday dinners together when they visit after church. And in  the quiet time when everyone’s gone home, while my wonderful husband is playing games on his computer and watching TV,  I will continue writing so that all our memories are preserved for generations to come.

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Filed under assignment, Peaceful, quiet, Word Press